Many psychologists insist that there are five stages of grief, the first stage being denial. This is obviously an oversimplification, since for many people the first emotions after a massive loss may be relief or guilt. You miss your beloved Uncle Albert, but you are immensely relieved that his protracted ordeal with cancer, dementia, pain, etc. is over. You may feel guilty that you stopped seeing him when his death was imminent because watching his decline was too painful for you. Simply put, there are certainly more than five reactions to loss and more than five facets to grief, but we humans have difficulty with complex phenomena and will invariably embrace simple explanations.
Just as negative experiences can elicit a wide spectrum of emotions and reactions, so too can positive experiences. Paradoxically, many of the reactions to success and good things are the same as reactions to loss and bad things. For many people, the first reaction to good news is denial. This might be considered the first stage of celebration, and it is a very American emotion.
Inflation is at its lowest in years. Wages have increased substantially more than inflation. Employment figures are at record levels. The stock market and housing market are soaring. Our nation is not at war. Population growth has stabilized. We are not experiencing a pandemic. Terrorist activities within our borders appear to be adequately managed by the CIA, FBI, Homeland Security, and other such agencies. Despite highly publicized atrocities, the murder rate in the United states has been falling steadily in recent years, even in densely populated urban areas. Six white police officers in Mississippi have been sentenced to jail for torturing two African-American men [Yes, in Mississippi]. Despite an increase in motor vehicle traffic over the past century, motor vehicle accident death rates (per 10,000 vehicles on the road) are relatively low and generally falling. Our food supply is safe and sufficient to protect the population from hunger. Drug addiction, substance abuse, and alcoholism are getting regular attention. Federal subsidies of healthcare continue to expand. Beyonce is releasing a new album.
Despite all of these reassuring facts and figures, Americans generally report being unhappy. When asked about the present state of the nation and the outlook for the future, the majority express gloom and doom. We are a nation in need of an antidepressant. Our resounding recovery from the debilitating effects of the Covid-19 pandemic is simply not resonating with our fellow Americans. We are in denial. Rather than celebrating our current condition and prospects, we are grumbling about issues that have plagued our nation since its inception.
Although the mantra clung to during most Presidential election years is, “It’s the economy, stupid,” this year’s obsession is the influx of migrants across the southern border. Need I remind us that this is a self-inflicted problem? The billions of dollars spent by Americans on illicit narcotics and other drugs is the life-blood that sustains the political chaos and corruption that is forcing millions of desperate people out of their homes. Facilitating this chaos is the steady stream of weapons flooding south from American arms dealers. People vote with their feet, but they run when there are guns pointed at their backs.
The truth that is not mentioned in the broadcasts, podcasts, and other ‘information’ channels drowning us in ‘news’ is that we need this throng of “your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” to maintain the lifestyles to which we Americans have become accustomed. We need these migrants seeking the American dream to help us sustain the American dream. The estimated replacement rate of births per woman in the U.S. is 2.1. A rate less than this will reduce the population and thereby the workforce. The current actual birth rate in the U.S. is 1.6. Without migrants, our population would decline, and there would be insufficient young people to support the aging population. Aside from the need for a stable and diverse (at least in terms of age) population, the U.S. has routinely relied on the talents and energy of people from all over the world to become the economic and political power it is.
What is remarkable is that after centuries of mass migrations to the United States, much of the population still dreads the influx of new arrivals. If we focus on any aspect of American life and industry, ranging from agriculture to atomic energy, we find that immigrants played vital roles. The Irish, Chinese, Italians, Eastern Europeans, Cubans, Latin Americans, and migrants from countries little known and never feared have all been objects of disdain and discrimination. The Africans brought here against their will may have contributed more to the building of America than any other identifiable group but were arguably treated the worst of any group originating from another continent. Xenophobia has never provided us with more security or prosperity.
Many Americans are worried that the democracy that has given so much to so many is in imminent peril. Many others are eager to install a ‘strongman’ at the apex of an authoritarian government to secure the dominance of like-thinking people. We have been here before with memorable candidates, like Aaron Burr and Douglas MacArthur, and long-forgotten aspirants, like William Jennings Bryan and Huey Long. Paradoxically, this craving for a dictatorial leader usually emerges when our nation is recovering from trying times.
Rather than celebrating our emergence from misfortune, whether it be a pandemic, a financial panic, or a war, we guard against future misfortunes by denying ourselves the right to celebrate and by searching for a leader who will take charge of the nation and protect us from the unpredictable. Unfortunately, there is not and has never been a person with the will and wisdom to protect us from the uncertain future we fear. There are always men and women who will insist that entrusting them with unassailable power will preserve our good fortune and free us from the vicissitudes of democracy, but they invariably prove self-serving and easily corrupted. It is time we celebrated our good fortune and stopped planning our democracy’s funeral.
Dr. Lechtenberg is an Easton resident who graduated from Tufts University and Tufts Medical School in Massachusetts and subsequently trained at The Mount Sinai Hospital and Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Center in Manhattan. He worked as a neurologist at several New York Hospitals, including Kings County and The Long Island College Hospital, while maintaining a private practice, teaching at SUNY Downstate Medical School, and publishing 15 books on a variety of medical topics. He worked in drug development in the U.S., as well as in England, Germany, and France
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