Sarah Weingarten has opened her Easton home to five children in Connecticut foster care, and she’s happy to share her experience with anyone interested in being a foster parent.
Weingarten said awareness is important because foster children need safe and loving homes. There are people who might be great at fostering but don’t know much about the program.
She began fostering children with her partner in April 2020 during the pandemic. The children ranged in age from 10 to 16, and their stay with her lasted from a weekend to a year. Some were reunified with their families.
“The most rewarding part is when it all goes the way it is supposed to go,” said Weingarten. “The families got the support they needed, the children got the support they needed, and now they are all going home.”
Children need families for the entire time they are in foster care. Some foster families can also provide short-term respite care overnight or up to 14 days through the Careline of the Department of Children and Families (DCF). The goal of DCF is to reunify children with their families within a year of separation. If reunification is not possible, children will need a permanent home. Some foster families adopt children from foster care.
In the state of Connecticut, there are about 3,100 children in foster care. That number changes every day, and the children vary in age. However, there are fewer than 1,800 foster parents in the state, said Deb Kelleher, the executive director of the Annie C. Courtney Foundation, an organization based in Waterbury that supports foster, adoptive and kinship families, as well as well as young people who have experienced foster care.
Kelleher adopted three boys through the Connecticut foster care system. She said she relates to both the families and the children in the system.
“I started working in foster care in around 1994, and I’ve worked in it ever since,” she said. “That’s a direct result of me getting passionate about the needs of kids in the system after my first son was placed with us. It’s changed my life.”
Fostering is not without its challenges, however.
“You are working within a system where you don’t have a lot of control or power,” said Weingarten, who chose not to have children because of a genetic eye condition.
“As foster parents, we are not the guardians of these children who are in our homes. While we may know them well and see them day to day, at the end of the day the state is their guardian,” Weingarten said. “It’s challenging to sort of have these day-to-day interactions but not always have the power to make choices when the care of the children comes into play.”
There are also many misconceptions about foster youth and the foster care system in general.
“The two that I see are that all foster youth are troubled or act out, and then I think the other one is that all children end up in foster care because of abuse and neglect,” said Weingarten.
“Our kids are not bad kids,” said Kelleher. “We have awesome young people who have been in Connecticut foster care who are doing all sorts of amazing things, not only just across the state of Connecticut but across the United States and in the world, and you don’t hear about them. You only hear about the negative things about our kids, and that’s a huge issue for me.”
Weingarten said there are many ways for people who can’t foster children in their homes to support foster families, foster youth, or former foster youth. Kelleher’s agency accepts donations and is always looking for folks who can provide gift cards to families who are struggling.
For more information about the foster care system, you can search for upcoming events and open houses on the Connecticut DCF website. You can also learn more and get involved by visiting the Annie C. Courtney Foundation website or by calling CTfosters.com at 1-888-Kid-Hero.
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